How to respond to your partner when they refuse to talk

Most people believe that refusing to speak is better than saying things that you will live to regret. This is far from the truth. Refusing to speak to somebody is not only emotionally abusive but also aggravates the situation. There is nothing colder than a cold shoulder. Turning someone off is like showing them that they are insignificant to warrant your attention. It’s awful and toxic!

The following tips can help resolve the silent treatment:

1.      Do not return the silence for silence. This is where most of us go wrong. When your colleague or partner doesn’t speak to you, we also get ‘proud’ and refuse to speak hoping that he will speak first. Hey, ‘what if the other doesn’t ever talk’? Is that the end of your relationship? Come on! Let the other person know that you are aware of their anger and you would be happy to talk it out if they choose to. Be clear to him/her that if you don’t know what is bothering him/her, you cannot change anything.

2.      After telling him/her that, get back to your duty and do not force him to speak to you. Appreciate that his silence is not about you and do not feel guilty. Stay calm.

3.      Avoid taking responsibility of your colleague or partner’s behavior. Even though you were the one on the wrong, the other party still has a responsibility to the behavior.

4.      If the silence goes beyond a reasonable period of time, (a day or more), let the other party know that he is harming the relationship.

5.      Figure out the next cause of action if this persists. For example, consider taking some time off on a weekend. By the time you get back, things may have perhaps improved. You may also consider going for therapy with your partner.

In relationships, the silent treatment is toxic and the only way out is dealing with it calmly and head on. Be clear of its impact and set limits if the silence continues. Go on with your business and do not chase the other person.